Not a fan of titles, actually

I mean for books and films they're cool. But blogs? Ehh I don't like having to sum up my 8 billion thoughts into a short phrase. Maybe I'll just name it something entirely different, throw things off a bit. Like "Mango" is about how I didn't really study for my Stats test today, but I think I did alright. Or "How do Yankee candles smell sssoooo good?" is about why I take so many vitamins/pills when I hate taking vitamins/pills. Hmmm.

There is a paradox in returning to where you've grown up. Everything is familiar and a little bit safer; after being out somewhere else in the world you realize you have nothing to prove back home; it's a good spot for a rest. But it's also stagnant. It produced you to a point, but now the big changes have occurred elsewhere, and elsewhere begins to be what you long for, it's a new homesickness. There are limitations because people simply haven't seen your transitions so they usually think you're the same as when you left. The familiarity is both comforting and oppressive.

There is a reason I was a very conservative Christian Republican (note the identity of being a Republican, who happens to claim Christianity) before I went to school. There is a reason when I am on campus I tend toward radical movements and refuse to sell out or back down from the vision. The hard part is being in the old world when your consciousness and passion are in the new. When most of your friends are living a new reality and decisively articulating themselves over and over, refining thoughts and views so they may better understand truth, it's not a struggle to do the same. There are people surrounding you showing a different way is possible. Being back home, these friends are gone. They are within reach, but you don't see their day-to-day lives and you can't get into spontaneous deep discussions and connect in new ways because you're simply not in the vicinity.

Growth and progress are empowering. Remembering where you originated from amidst this new growth and progress is humbling, and not in a noble kind of way. More like, "This sucks. I need an attitude change or I won't survive."