Sofia

My relationship with APU is so weird. I'm glad I don't go there anymore, glad to be away from certain environments and certain attitudes. But I miss it enough that it's a physical ache when I see pictures from my time there, or go on Google and virtually "walk" down the street. The formation of my adult consciousness developed there, with people who are truly unlike anyone else I've known so far in my life. And that's not to say that people like that aren't here, or anywhere really, just that the ones in that particular place and time impacted me. I am the result of those relationships. And people aside, I miss the sun. It's hard to be sad (for me) when it's 80 degrees out and beautiful, if smoggy.


I think my relationship with Puyallup/Lakewood/Seattle is similar. I didn't transform here, but this is where I developed my foundations. And as I prepare myself in the next 6 or 7 months to possibly leave again, this time for Bulgaria, I'm recognizing the wonted sensation of longing for what you also can't stand. I'll miss driving 512 in the morning and seeing the sunrise behind Mt. Rainier, miss my work, miss my AVID kids more than almost anything, miss friends like Rachel, Jenna, Brennan, Ankit, miss my room with the red and gold striped walls I labored over myself, miss my dog; I'll miss the comforts of having all these familiar things so close and accessible. I'll long for what I can't stand. Not that I can't stand any of these things or people; my point is the monotony of life and the negative aspects of anything are desirable to escape, especially if they're close in time and proximity to one another.


I like going places and experiencing everything that makes them an "other" to me. But the result is leaving so many bits of my emotion and love in all of them, in everyone. So it's awesome, but it hurts a hell of a lot sometimes too. And teaching in Sofia won't be any different.